Dating

I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now. We’re perfect in many ways, and I could not imagine life without him. The problem is that two years ago he was sleeping with another girl while dating me. We’ve gotten past that, but I have reason to believe he’s cheating on me again. He doesn’t come home some nights, he’s often short with me, and is no longer affectionate at all. On top of that, an acquaintance apparently saw him out with another woman more than once.

Am I jumping to conclusions? Should I just trust that my man loves me and learned from his mistake? I feel like I’m being deceitful.

- Completely Confused

Well.

It sounds like you aren’t the one who is deceitful.

I know it’s sometimes hard to open your eyes to a man’s true behaviours when you’re in love with him. Many women have been in similar situations, myself included. But I’ll tell you one thing - if he cheated on you before, there’s a good chance that you will never fully trust him. It can’t be easy to live your life paranoid that your guy is going to hurt you again.

I give you kudos for trying to mend the relationship after his past indiscretions, even when it may have saved your sanity to end it. But I do wonder what your reasons were.

A cliche like “once a cheater, always a cheater” won’t help you right now, but it tends to be pretty accurate. If your gut tells you he’s cheating, he probably is. Even if he’s not cheating, what’s with the change in attitude?

My advice - think long and hard about WHY you’re with him, and how good it might feel to be single and worry-free for awhile. No one deserves to feel like shit because their significant other isn’t trustworthy. Put yourself first.

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